for 'bout four years i've hated this town...

golly gee whiz.
life goes by fast.
it seems like it was last week that i was moving to this god-forsaken place called blairsville.
nope.
that was 12 years ago.
and i could go all emo and say i hate my life here and how i cant wait to never come back,
but i won't.
honestly my life here, dispite the lack of civilization, has been reasonably good.
i mean sure i hate not having any good shopping, or a movie theater with more than 6 movies playing at a time, or good restauraunts because of the lack of a pouring liscence, but generally i have had a good life here.
now saying this, it may come as a surprise to you when i say that im leaving two weeks after i graduate.
and i may not come back for a while.
at least to live. ill come visit. but nothing for a serious amount of time.
not quite sure i'm going at this moment, however i am sure it will be close to atlanta.
well, closER.

but i just have to promise myself not to end up like other people i used to look up to.
i recently found out my cousin who is about a year and three months older than me, has been checked into rehab because of an alcohol and cocaine addiction.
it's really hard.
i'll try not to cry while writing this, but sometimes you just can't help it.
we were really close.
i talk to her at least once a week, and i had no idea this was going on.
i guess that the cost of her living in O.C. and me in Ho-Hum, Georgia.
she's stopped going to school.
she works two jobs and still takes money from her father to support her habit.
she supposedly started b/c of stresses combined with school and modeling at the same time.
stress reliever and wieght loss solution. way to kill two birds with one stone, right?

i feel so helpless.
like i should fly to cali to help her.
my parents have told me there is nothing i can do to help but i feel like i can.
if only given the chance, i feel like i can make a difference in her life.

hopefully it will all be over soon and treatments will help so my brother doesn't have to get the effin marines involved.

oh and another thing.
my brother told me he's being deployed in february/march and he won't be here for my graduation.
i'm starting to really not like his carreer.